Archive | January, 2012

God is not limited by our circumstances

18 Jan

I’ve always been one who can be patient.  Working with kids on the autism spectrum, it is necessary.  But then I have trouble when I seem to be waiting and unsure if things are ever going to change for the better.  I know that God is working, even in the moments of silence, but it gets so hard to wait, especially when these moments of silence seem as if they have no end.  I was reading a few days ago, and ran across the quote “God is not limited by our circumstances”.  This reminded me of one of my favorite Bible verses, which is also taped up in my room.

God is able to do immeasurably  more than we could ever ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20)

Every time I see it and actually let it sink in, I think that is so amazing.  And then I remember I am wasting so much time worrying.  Worrying that being at an all-girls school is going to limit my ability to meet a husband.  Worry that maybe I’ve already met my husband but because of mistakes, things have messed up.  Worry that because of the economy and education budget cuts, I won’t have a real teaching job once I finish grad school in December.  Worry that I’ve missed God speaking to me and should be doing something else right now.  Worry that I wasted too many opportunities to serve others because I didn’t know anyone else that was going to be there.

Look at all those worries.  Those are the ones that pop into my mind first, but I’m sure with a little digging, I could easily think of more. And how they are all circumstantial. If I had just done ____ differently, maybe my life would be different.  But I have to have faith that God is not limited by circumstances.  If I really surrender it all to Christ, then I have nothing to worry about because no matter what could have gone differently in the past, God’s plans for my life will be fulfilled.  I know God has placed this passion in my heart for students with special needs, I wake up enthusiastic to go to my placements, enthusiastic to help.  I get so excited when a child with special needs comes into work (I know how awful that sounds, but it isn’t really.  Promise). It’s hard for me to let this leave my hands, but when I do, if only for a few minutes until I mess it up again, I feel so much lighter and more joyful.

I trust that God is going to provide, regardless of my circumstances.  Surrender is hard but living without God having control is even harder.

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Working at Marbles

8 Jan

So, I do really love my job, I know I am very blessed to get to play with kids all day AND get paid for it.  But at the same time, there is a lot to be said for my job.

I wish parents would understand that I am not there to clean up after their children, I am there to engage their children in deeper, more meaningful play.  This means they need to encourage kids to clean up after themselves and even help clean up, maybe.  Yesterday it was 10 minutes until closing time and this family comes in Power 2 Play, where I was closing for the night.  The balls in the infant area were all nice and organized.  The parents go in there and throw the balls around to try to get their child, who is obviously not interested, to play with them.  Then they just leave.  I highly doubt they would do that at home.  I mean, I way overqualified (not to be conceited) to pick up toys as a job.

And then the parents think they are so clever… they all joke about how many times I must put the toys back every day. Like I don’t hear it every day… I do.  But I smile and laugh courteously. And pretend it’s funny and clever. And then try to say something about how my job is really to play, not clean up.  I don’t think they get it.  Oh well.  They also need to learn closed means get out, not hang out for 5 more minutes.  We’ve been dealing with your kids all day and are ready to get home, so help us out!

Okay, I guess I just needed to vent a little. I really do love my job.

My biggest regret of college

5 Jan

Never going to Passion.

I’ve been watching the live stream the past couple of days and it has been truly amazing.  I wish I had taken the opportunity to go when I was at UNC… To be honest though, I’m not sure I would have enjoyed it the same way I would now.  I’ve matured a lot in the past year, I believe.  I think God is doing amazing things in my life, and I am happy with the way things have changed for the better.  I would love to be in that crowd of 45000 students singing and praising Jesus with all they have.  I did that on the way home tonight… well, with all I had minus what I needed to stay focused on the road.  It was incredible.

God is so awesome.